where to start. worrying about that too much can actually keep me from starting. i suppose by trying to examine the mechanics of how that works is a good place to start. that was even hard for me to follow.
anyways, by trying to answer that question i have found a great place to start. when i am worrying about where to start i am really worrying about how what i'm doing will appear to everyone else. of course i will deny it if ever asked and i even try to deny it myself in my own head even though it is probably very close to the truth. but what i am really trying to get at is that a good starting place is to try and distance my self from my personality.
this idea might seem crazy to some especially to those who strongly identify with there exterior selves. have you ever said to yourself "i hate when i do that"? i'm sure almost everyone has said something similar to themselves one time or another. when you think about that statement there are two entities referred to. there is the hater and the second person or entity that does the thing that the first person or entity hates.
kind of like me, myself and i. seriously though i for the greater part of my life identified with my personality and now i can step back from myself and watch my personality from a distance kind of like a film. i really make my self laugh. for the most part the things that motivate my personality are quite childish or the result of conditioning. i have gotten a new perspective on conditioning since i moved to france. for the most part we don't know to the extent that our conditioning from our society controls us. but that is another subject that i want to explore later.
back to those two people that live in each of us, there is in all of us something reasonably wise and stable regardless of how old we are. it exists in all of us and is just as strong in children as it is in adults. it is the piece of us that always knows right from wrong, the piece that re-remembers universal truths when heard or found in books. our personality or what i call our personality is all the other stuff. its the part that has to have those green shoes. the part that has to look good in front of others. you know what i mean. i suppose the real idea of "raising my consciousness" or "working on myself" or "spirituality" (i really hate all those terms and will seriously search for something better) is simply learning to listen to that inner piece of us and let that be our guide in everyday life. and in turn through that piece of us consciously make a connection with our source letting that resulting relationship guide our lives. It may sound bigger than it really is. its almost like learning a new language, it just sorta happens when you're not looking. that's not to sat that it isn't a lot of effort. most people (most people, i don't know most people) will have to reconstruct their core belief system and more importantly profoundly change how they think of and view themselves.
fortunately for us there are certain ideas and steps we can follow to start this process. i was when i was younger blessed with the courage to enter as twelve step program where i was introduced to many new ideas and perspectives on how to view my experiences in life. actually that was just the start of a great quest for "spirituality" for me. i can't say that i ever found spirituality though. i found better stuff. I found out how to be content. i found tolerance, calmness and hope, even more importantly i found dare i say it serenity. i don't alway have it but it sticks around longer and longer. so if a stubborn know it all (didn't you know that i'm mister intelligent) like myself can do it so can any one. what worked for me will not work for you. well not exactly because you are you and the next guy is different and so on and so on. but the good news is that 90% will help enormously and you will have to work out that other 10% yourself.
we will get into nuts and bolts of things in the next installment.
remember : life is fluid
robert
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